As we’re twenty-five days away from the big day, I’ve been thinking about the most treasured parts of the holiday – the secret Santa debacles, the competitive gingerbread baking, and the Christmas dinner controversial opinions (as is expected when raised by a cooking-obsessed Dad, who wakes up at 7:00 on Christmas day to start prepping brussels sprouts, I’ve got quite a few strong thoughts). So, in honour of Christmas rapidly approaching, I gathered a group of my friends and asked (forced) them to rank parts of Christmas dinner out of ten. Here’s the official list!
1. Cabbage – 2.8/10
Fair enough, it’s not the most appetising part of Christmas dinner – some families don’t even bother. There’s not much to say about it, other than it’s often underwhelming, and pretty much nobodies favourite. However, I don’t agree with the bottom place ranking – I think there are others more deserving of this spot.
2. Cauliflower cheese – 3.9/10
Controversial opinion alert: I quite like cauliflower cheese. I can’t stand cauliflower on it’s own, but with the cheese – delicious. Again, some people skip this one out of the big meal – it’s nothing special.
3. Brussels sprouts – 4.4/10
In my opinion, these should be dead last. I have never met a single person who goes ‘mmm, brussels sprouts’. These are prepared out of wretched obligation, then left to go cold on the table whilst people scramble to avoid them, and eventually they’re thrown into whatever Boxing Day meal is prepped from the leftovers. I cannot believe they’ve somehow made it this high on the list. (In case you couldn’t tell, these are my least favourite part).
4. Christmas pudding – 5/10
I’m realising my Christmas dinner opinions may be a little out of the ordinary, because I love a Christmas pudding. The best way to have it is piping hot, with vanilla ice cream. There’s something so wonderful about a Christmas pudding after that huge meal – you don’t get that feeling from any other dessert. But, that being said, I wouldn’t have it any other time of the year, so I do agree with the score.
5. Panettone – 5.6/10
Described by my friend as ‘a bread cake in a red box’, this sweet treat isn’t the most common Christmas feature. In fact, I had to bow out of ranking this one myself, because I’ve never actually had one. But the fact that it somehow landed above Christmas pudding which is, in my opinion, outrageous.
6. Stuffing – 5.9/10
A shockingly low score for stuffing – a completely classic part of the meal, that’s so quintessentially Christmassy that it features in most supermarkets’ festive meal deal sandwiches at least once. However, I love a bit of stuffing; it’s one of my favourite parts of the meal.
7. Roast veg – 6.3/10
How, HOW, has roast veg somehow managed to sneak it’s way past TWO desserts, and stuffing. I understand that people like vegetables, but this is outrageous. You can have a carrot at any time of
the year (and a parsnip too, if you fancy) – there’s nothing special about them. It may reveal a bit about me as a person, but roast veg is just what I’m forced to have on my plate to convince my Mum that I’m not just eating potatoes. A desperately overrated food.
8. Gravy – 6.5/10
Ok, full disclosure here: gravy scored 6.2. But I refuse to put gravy below vegetables. Gravy is – in my completely correct opinion – the greatest part of Christmas dinner, absolutely no contest. You can have it with anything on the table. Potatoes? Absolutely. Vegetables? Go for it. All kinds of meat? What else are you meant to use? (Worth noting here that I am not a cranberry sauce girl). Drink it straight? Couldn’t agree more. I am scandalised with this position.
9. Mince pies – 7/10
Though not technically a part of Christmas dinner (unless you’re a part of a family that eats these over a Christmas pudding), leaving mince pies out of the ranking would have been wrong. They’re as important to Christmas as chocolate is to Easter – they’re mince pies. Bakers across the world try their hands at making them. A fabulous part of the Christmas tradition – except, of course, when the Sainsburys down the road started stocking them in October (why?).
10. Potatoes – 7.3/10
I’m realising that a fair portion of this list is so far, me disagreeing with rankings, because HOW. HOW are potatoes not a member of the top three? How? I’m in complete awe. There’s very little as wonderful as a crispy roast potato, with a wonderful, fluffy inside, completely piping hot – and yes, absolutely drowning in gravy. I’ve been told (somewhat stereotypical) that my love/obsession with all thing’s potato is due to my Irish roots; but there’s no reason for not adoring a roast potato. The low position is absolutely shocking.
11. Turkey – 8/10
It’s a common pattern that the centre of the Christmas meal is never the favourite. However, that doesn’t mean that it’s not delicious. Is it better than gravy? No way in the world. Is it better than potatoes? Absolutely not. But it’s by no means bad – it’s a comfortable classic, always enjoyable, and usually the subject of fierce debate when it comes to cooking.
12. Quality Streets – 8.7/10
I can hear the comments already. ‘They’re not a part of Christmas dinner!’. But they’re a part of Christmas. No Christmas is complete without the box of Quality Streets. Everyone I know has a precise, unalterable list of which ones are nicest (purple is best, pink is worst), and most people have a story about fighting a family member for the final purple. Apart from Shout one contributor to this list, who gave these a zero because she’s allergic to peanuts (I didn’t count her score, but her opinion is still valid).
13. Yorkshire puddings – 8.7/10
I know! There was a draw, so I’ve taken the licence to move Yorkshires higher up the list. I love a Yorkshire pudding. I’ve always been the #1 Yorkshire pudding fan, and I’m still the only person in my family who eats them for Christmas dinner. However, I eat enough for three people, so it’s not like there’s any leftovers. I’m thrilled they’ve made it this far up the list – finally, some justice for the beige foods!
14. Gingerbread house
I know. What a travesty. How have gingerbread houses made it above potatoes? Above Yorkshires? Above GRAVY?? In my opinion, gingerbread houses are one of the lower points of Christmas. Making them is amazing fun, and they look great in photos, and they taste great on day one – but eventually, they’ve gone stale from being left out in the open for too long, the icing is hard and overly sweet, possibly attracting ants and spiders, and you’re painfully aware that you cannot, in fact, eat three gingerbread houses and all the residents before the biscuit go off. In my opinion, a total waste of food. How did it make it up this high?? Just because gingerbread tastes good, doesn’t mean we should build a house out of it. You don’t see me constructing houses of potatoes.
15. Christmas cake – 9.7/10
Commonly confused with a Christmas pudding, a Christmas cake is actually something more Yule log-adjacent. Very yummy, but has ABSOLUTELY NO BUSINESS being this high, when it is essentially chocolate cake. I may be slightly biased due to my own yule-log making abilities (which are excellent, by the way), but it doesn’t have that same special spark as the other dishes on this list.
16. Pigs in blankets – 9.9/10
An almost perfect score for a completely perfect dish. What a food! Pigs in blankets are divine. They are delightful. They are the one food on this list that unites (almost) all of the voters. One Christmas, I ate 22 of them all by myself. And for the record, I do not regret that decision at all. A completely delicious food that truly does deserve it’s top spot.
With many thanks to Miranda, Manasi, Dune, Evelyn, Maria, Heather, Maddy, Nikki and Kenzie for helping with the rankings.
