Ironically, this is an article I’m writing while under distinct threat of being crushed by the sheer number of history books on my desk as I procrastinate homework – yes, I am truly a shining example of the sixth form experience.
The One who does it on the Night it’s set.
Don’t lie – you are a year 7 if this is you. Yes, I highly admire anyone who gets home and is immediately struck by the organisation and desire to complete the piece of homework that was set an hour before. Yes, it also means that part of me never wants to hear a word that you say without being reminded of a former, more productive version of me.
The One who does it in the library.
Okay, this is getting a bit ridiculous. As a firm believer in the restorative power of lunch, I look on at those who can work during the school day with a mixture of envy and bitter rage. Enjoy that free time after school – I bet you use it to go for a run, play an instrument or generally better yourself as a person. Still, I bet you haven’t watched all nineteen seasons of Grey’s Anatomy (yes this was a valuable use of me time… I promise).
The Dribs and Drabs.
Homework isn’t really homework if you do it across three different days. That’s just a brief quiz with which you test yourself for fun, in between snack breaks. Yes, your argument may be incoherent, yes, you’ve changed pens three different times, but you always retain your focus.
The TV-Watcher.
Those who say you can’t watch TV and do homework clearly aren’t trying hard enough – you absolutely… pick me, choose me, love me… wait – what was I saying? Oh… half of my English essay appears to be half a transcript of Grey’s Anatomy. Oh well, hopefully your English teacher will be moved by the powerful storytelling.
On the Go.
If you haven’t pressed a Maths book to your knee while trying to deal whilst hoping someone will give up their seat – have you truly lived? There’s nothing like trying to decipher those incomprehensible squiggles done on 93 bus in an hour’s time.
The Procrastinator
You know… maybe if I ignore that growing tower of textbooks that now subsumes by whole life, just maybe they’ll go away. Maybe a friendly spirit of Philip II will appear while I’m sleeping and perfectly answer the question as to why the Spanish Inquisition consolidated royal authority. After all he probably knows better than everyone.
The Chef
Are you a burgeoning cook who decides to complete homework while also cheffing up a culinary delight? IN which case, your biology textbook is now covered in a mix of flour, tomato source and irreversibly stained with olive oil. At least when you’re done you have a tasty meal at the end of it. Homework only has to hold you back from your day to day life if you let it.
The One who Forgets.
Sorry my dog ate the rest of this article – I promise it will be uploaded by the end of the day.
