There are many famous Greek and Roman myths and stories: The Odyssey, The Iliad, all the myths involving Zeus’ infinitely creative methods of seducing beautiful young boys and girls, Apollo turning people into plants (I’m convinced Apollo single-handedly created half the flora on earth – I challenge you to find a lover who he hasn’t turned into a plant at some point).
But there are also a few less well-known stories, and understandably so. These are the “blooper” myths: the stories of people who didn’t quite manage to be a hero or just fell over at the wrong moment.

We all know the feeling, when when you want to insult a friend, but just don’t quite have the means to do so, or when you’re looking for a particularly creative insult but one just won’t come, and you stand there for a couple seconds looking dumbstruck.

To continue what is possibly becoming a series of mine, this is the development of what started as a major digression in a discussion of Augustus Caesar in Plutarch’s Life of Antony and has turned into a full blown deep dive into the zodiac signs of ancient figures. That said, it is largely Roman figures, because we don’t know the specific birthday of most of the central Greek political and cultural figures. Either way, enjoy!

But Elspie, what on earth is an article about New Year’s doing coming out 24 days late? Well, to that I say, this is clearly an article in preparation for 2026 and is entirely unrelated to the fact that I’ve had mocks for the past two weeks.

Now, this may be delayed by a few weeks, but I think that, nonetheless, it is worth welcoming in the new term by paying due homage to more of our favourite characters