We all know the feeling, when when you want to insult a friend, but just don’t quite have the means to do so, or when you’re looking for a particularly creative insult but one just won’t come, and you stand there for a couple seconds looking dumbstruck.

To continue what is possibly becoming a series of mine, this is the development of what started as a major digression in a discussion of Augustus Caesar in Plutarch’s Life of Antony and has turned into a full blown deep dive into the zodiac signs of ancient figures. That said, it is largely Roman figures, because we don’t know the specific birthday of most of the central Greek political and cultural figures. Either way, enjoy!

But Elspie, what on earth is an article about New Year’s doing coming out 24 days late? Well, to that I say, this is clearly an article in preparation for 2026 and is entirely unrelated to the fact that I’ve had mocks for the past two weeks.

Now, this may be delayed by a few weeks, but I think that, nonetheless, it is worth welcoming in the new term by paying due homage to more of our favourite characters

Now I must say, this isn’t the article I was planning on writing this week, but then SOMEONE decided that it was time for winter to arrive and bring rain and freezing cold.