As Easter fast approaches, it can only mean one thing for Year 11s and 13s: Revision. And the beady eyed among you may be inclined to take up revision spotting for all types of reluctant revisers. So, scan your eyes over this easy guidebook on how to revision spot this Easter.
The Procrastinator
Perhaps the most common type of reviser to be noticed during this time. The Procrastinator is typically found inside, with the door closed and beautifully arranged packet of new stationery lying in front of them. Typical activities for the Procrastinator include compulsive organisation, vacant doodling, or most commonly, agitatedly scrolling through social media, trying to avoid posts about other types of revisers.
The Habitual Snacker
The Habitual Snacker is most often found in the kitchen. Whilst this type of reviser may get a rough hour in in the morning, they find it almost impossible to resist the tempting call of the food below them. Whilst many opt for crisps, cakes or biscuits, bonus points are awarded to Habitual Snackers who have tired of standard combinations and are now mixing and matching seemingly at random.
The Coffee addict
Whilst pedestrian revision spotters commonly attribute a Coffee Addict to the Habitual Snacker, in reality they could not be more different. Whilst a Habitual Snacker is more frequently found in a single location, be it bedroom or kitchen, a Coffee Addict is much mobile. Starting off the day with a cup of coffee in the kitchen, by the end of the day they can be found feverishly devouring their sixth cup at a third coffee shop, staring desperately at a textbook. It seems that no matter how often they opt for a ‘change of scenery’ they’re still unsure on the difference between mitosis and meiosis, or how Shakespeare depicts criticisms of gender rigidity in Twelfth Night.
The ‘Osmotic’
One of my personal favourite types of reviser. An Osmotic is almost exclusively found at a desk in a bedroom, crouched over a textbook. Having spent many hours pouring over the same chapter, the Osmotic places their head onto the pages and hope that the information will diffuse in. Again, bonus points awarded if they have fallen asleep onto said textbook, hoping to dream the information required.
The Dream Reviser
This reviser is perhaps the rarest of them all. Not only do they produce elaborate yet beautiful spider diagrams quickly and efficiently, but they also even attempt dual coding, elaboration and whatever other revision technique that has been drilled into them at study skills. And they don’t stop at home – they listen to podcasts whilst jogging (make it stop) and cheerfully tell you that in between their eight hours of revision, they’ve learnt to play the guitar. N.B it is important to know that ‘The Dream Reviser’ will only be found in the first four days of Easter, before they become an Osmotic.
Hopes For the Best
This last type of reviser is particularly laid back until the day of exam, when they realise that their laidback attitude may not have been the most successful use of their time. Instead, they frantically skim read the specification and even dip into a CGP book before a frantic prayer, before traipsing reluctantly into an exam hall.
Good luck to all the revision spotters out there, and to Year 11 and 13 for the Summer exams!
