For an unathletic person like me, Sports Day awards have never seemed remotely attainable. And honestly, who decided that the only prizes worth winning are for running, jumping, and throwing things? So, in the spirit of fairness and fun, I’ve concocted some totally unofficial, yet utterly essential awards for all the Houses, just to add some extra amusement to the day.
Disclaimer: these awards are purely for laughs and anyone who competed on Tuesday should be immensely proud of themselves! You all did great!
Most Enthusiastic Fans:
This one’s a toss-up between Meredith and Arnold. I attempted to interview their House Captains, Ava and Jam, but calling it an interview would be generous: it was more of a screaming match with occasional words. Frankly, I left the conversation with ringing ears and a deep respect for their vocal cords.
The House That Took Every Event Way Too Seriously:
Scott. Without question. Truly giving Olympic-level intensity for a school-level event. At this point, I’m convinced Scott is a covert government training program for future Avengers. Watching you guys at times felt like the hunger games and I don’t know what you guys ate for breakfast that morning but, frankly, I’m scared of it.
Best Use of Glitter and Face Paint:
Arnold. No debate. Bea in Year 12 didn’t just show spirit, she became spirit. Painting your face and covering it in glitter is on a different level and I’m now convinced her skin barrier is made of steel. Another special mention to Dilly, whose bright pink wig could be seen from Google Earth. Arnold may not have taken home gold, but we slayed at least.
Most Unproblematic Fans:
Hastings. While other houses were reenacting The Real Housewives of Sports Day, Hastings just existed peacefully like a meditation app with legs. No drama, no yelling, just vibes. Honestly? Aspirational.
Best ‘Participation Trophy’ Energy:
Meredith. You didn’t win, but you looked like you were having the time of your lives. I found myself mysteriously wandering over to your side of the stands more than once (apologies to Arnold, I swear it wasn’t betrayal). You made it fun, and for those of us who break into a light sweat just walking to the water fountain, that’s the true victory. Honourable mention to Jam, the Meredith House Captain for your military-level intensity. At this point Meredith doesn’t even have a House Captain, they have a House General.
Gold Medal in Overreacting to a Bee:
Ava Skeete, House Captain of Arnold. Ava, I say this with love, your reaction to that bee deserves a dramatic reenactment on stage and I will be posting the video on the UP Instagram. The people need to see.
Masters of Almost Winning:
Hastings. You got so close, so many times. It was like watching an underdog sports movie (but the kind that ends in an inspiring speech, not a win). Possibly because Scott were training like they had Nike sponsorships. But still, spirit = immaculate.
