It’s 12:55! Where are you heading from period 5?
A: Sprinting full pelt to the lunch hall to beat the queue, brandishing your club card with elbows at the ready for some last-ditch jostling. Your schedule is fully booked, and you have to be in ten different places at once. If only you had Hermione Granger’s Time Turner
B: To find your friends. They usually congregate in the pit, but we could be there for a good twenty minutes waiting for everyone to show up before going to eat
C: You stroll up to Hastings with a friend or two, discussing your Maths homework and exchanging tips on using completed square form to find the turning point of quadratic equations
D: Straight to the Rutherford foyer. You’ve either got production rehearsals or new ideas on how to barricade the corridors most effectively and creatively with the limbs of yourself and your friends.
You’ve reached the lunch hall and they’re out of cutlery! What do you do?
A: No worries! You usually get takeout anyway, so you’ve got your Tupperware and home cutlery at the ready!
B: You stand around waiting with your mates for a quarter of an hour while the dishwasher finishes up. Now it’s nearly 2pm, you’re hangry and there are no more brownies :(! (Bonus points if you’ve been standing around for long enough that Senora Parker starts up a game of queue-wide ‘I went to the supermarket’)
C: You grimace at the line length (largely made up of Year 8s getting rowdier by the minute) and turn back down the hill. You’ll come back in a bit when there’s less of a wait
D: You head in anyway – you’ve had a sandwich already so aren’t looking for a main – you’re just checking out the dessert options ; )
It’s fast-food Friday! What are you getting?
A: Fish, chips and mushy peas! Tartar sauce and ketchup on the side goes without saying
B: A burger (possibly the tasty bean one) and chips. Extra salt for the chips is obligatory
C: The veggie option, of course. After taking into the account the environmental and ethical impacts of eating meat, it’s a no-brainer
D: Just a plate of chips, soaked in vinegar so no one pinches any ; )
And for pudding?
A: Summer fruit crumble with as much custard as they’ll give me : )
B: Cake. And then trifle. And then mousse. Then maybe leftover bread and butter pudding if you can get away with it.
C: A satsuma or two
D: Joy of joys, they have waffles!!! You get the juiciest looking one and then bully your friend out of half of theirs.
Anything else?
A: A green apple, it is the emblem of our dear school after all…
B: Water for the entire table (mostly likely humiliatingly spilled on the way back; the perils of attempting to carry 5+ glasses…)
C: Some salad (preferably that one with halloumi because it is divine). As a Biology student, you know first-hand the importance of leafy greens!
D: Nope! You’ve got half the post office in your bag anyway, you’ll be fine.
Where are you eating?
A: In the corner of whatever room your club/lesson/meeting is in, as quickly and inconspicuously as possible. From here you’ll go straight to your next club/lesson/meeting, and then maybe you’ll have time for a quick toilet break before afternoon registration!
B: You and your mates score a booth! You get all cosy and try to shove way too many people around one of those tables
C: At one of the little tables along the back wall. You and your friend can tuck into the corner and have a nice meal, relatively sheltered from the bustle around you
D: Straight back to Rutherford you go. Let’s see how far you can manage to spread your bags, coats, and assorted other items today!
How long are you in the canteen for in total?
A: 2 minutes. Absolute maximum. You have places to be!
B: You’re there for the long run. We’re talking over an hour. Your table won’t be leaving until you are explicitly told to leave by the catering staff
C: Maybe 15 minutes? Not too long – you have big a chemistry test on Monday and still have a couple points of the specification to go over
D: As long as it takes to grab as much dessert as you can get away with, and then head back to some corner of the Rutherford foyer to enjoy our bounty.
RESULTS:
Mostly As: Main building around the Senior Hall. You’re the buzzing heart and soul of the school and the embodiment of Wimbledonian Spirit™️ . You’re very social and probably over-subscribed to clubs but love them too much to give any up.
Mostly Bs: Piper house. Visually, you’re giving y2k. You probably feel emotionally attached to your eyeliner, Arctic Monkeys and enjoy the endless labyrinthine corridors of Piper house. You both know about and frequently use that one fancy bathroom the Sixth formers gate-keep.
Mostly Cs: Steam Tower. You’re a woman in STEM. Wait, no — STEAM. You do triple science and make Pinterest-worthy notes with your colour coded pastel highlighters and brush pens. You like how light and modern the Tower feels (this doesn’t mean you enjoy the utter trek up those stairs to art, though). Somehow, even the floor to ceiling windows in the little meeting rooms don’t give you vertigo.
Mostly Ds: Rutherford building. You’re either a theatre kid or your friends have claimed a corner of the foyer as Their Spot and that’s just where you spend all your time now. Bonus points if you and your mates sit on the floor with your legs sticking straight out so that the corridor turns into one of those sports agility ladders for anyone trying to walk past.
