In the few times that I’ve played netball, house netball or social netball, I’ve gathered some interesting (and very factual – all backed by science) information about the positions.
I present: What Your Netball Positions Say About You (think of it as a BuzzFeed quiz):
Centre (C)
Small, loud and in charge. The most competitive person to walk (run, really) the courts of Nursery Road. Never tired, always the Centre of attention (or tries to be). Owns a bunch of those Stabilo highlighters in every pastel colour that exists.
Coffee order: Short. Black.
Goal Attack (GA)
The braider. Knows every single hairstyle and can do it on everyone. Dutch braids? Check. French? Check. Most likely has left scratch marks on you. Up and down the court, you wonder how one person can possibly have that much energy. Is it humanly possible? We’re not sure yet, but science is making promising discoveries.
Coffee order: Vanilla Latte.
Goal Defence (GD)
Will body-slam anyone near them. You know (or, rather, feel) that they’re nearby when the referee starts yelling “CONTA-A-A-CT”. They elbow people more than they touch the ball.
Coffee order: Flat White.
Wing Defence (WD)
Aside from the fact it sounds like WD-40, an under-appreciated position. Essentially the short version of a GK. Hard-working, always there for you, and happy to be there. Has unhinged Spotify playlists.
Coffee order: Oat Latte.
Wing Attack (WA)
Eager to please, super loyal. Is the singular person screaming “HERE IF YOU NEED!” when they are, in fact, a million miles away.
Coffee order: Decaf (the caffeine buzz is too much for them).
Goalkeeper (GK)
Ridiculously tall. A short GK is a rare sight.
Is the person who does all the work in a group project and still manages to put their name behind everyone else’s. A proper team player. Wholesome.
Coffee order: Matcha green tea / matcha latte.
Goal Shooter (GS)
Tall. Ambitious. They have a coloured folder for every subject, and they feud about whether Biology or Geography should be green. They colour-code everything. Their OneNote looks more like a rainbow than actual notes.
Coffee order: They don’t drink coffee. It disturbs their circadian rhythm.
