The holiday season is an interesting time for people of non-Christian faith, especially during our younger years – from incessant questioning as to why we don’t have a Christmas tree, to deeper consolidation towards our othering. So here’s some things not to say to Jewish people during the holiday season.
- “Don’t you just wish you celebrated Christmas?”
No.
Well, actually I used to, so did most Jewish kids if I had to guess. Navigating being a non-Christian kid is harder than you’d probably expect – seemingly every shop, restaurant, and house is smothered in Christmas gimcrack ornaments and Santa Clauses by the dusk of Halloween, it’s like an inside joke that you’re not a part of. And spare some pity for the poor Jewish parents who have to explain to their distressed children as to why all their friends have Christmas trees in their living room, but they can’t.
Schools in the UK are no help to Jewish parents either! When I was in reception, and the time came to audition for the school’s Nativity production, unsurprisingly, being the young born actress I was, I bagged the role of Mary. Unbeknownst to my parents, my nanny dropped me home that evening, script in hand.
‘Joseph, I have something important to tell you. An angel visited me and told me I am going to have a baby!’
My 5-year-old self supposedly announced as I strode into the sitting room. Yeah, poor Mr Shilo. Numerous phone calls to family abroad and a few panic attacks later, my parents had come to the totally rational decision that they wanted to transfer me to a Jewish primary school. Luckily for me, Fulham and Chelsea’s Jewish population was lacking, and I still got to play Mary in the Nativity (incredibly too, if I may say so myself).
Despite my absolutely tear-jerking performance, and endless complaints as to the Shilo’s lack of Christmas décor, as I got older the question seemed to cut deeper than it used to. “Don’t you just wish you celebrated Christmas?” Why would I? Do you view my religious celebrations as less than? Are my religious celebrations less than? Why would someone ask me that? Questions like this are extremely ignorant and undermining to our (and any non-Christian’s) religion. It assumes that Christianity and its celebrations are superior to all others, and that we should have a sense of envy towards those who celebrate Christmas. We don’t – farthest thing from it.
2. “I can’t believe you don’t put up a Christmas tree!”
I can’t believe you don’t light the menorah on the eight days of Hanukkah! Yeah. That’s how that sounds. I’ve heard all the excuses too:
“No! I don’t mean it in a bad way, but it’s just so commercialised its barely a religious symbol anymore!”
“I would feel so left out not having a tree!”
“I’m just so used to putting up my tree, I can’t imagine what it’s like not having one!”
I know that 90% of the time encounters like these are innocent, but what it sounds like to us is, “I think my religious festival is more important than yours and I just assume everyone conforms to my religious celebrations.”
Jewish people will not have a Christmas tree (despite the relentless commercialisation) because we do not celebrate Christmas. Complicated, I know!
3. “So, it’s basically a Jewish Christmas”
This one’s pretty offensive, all jokes aside. It trivialises what Hanukkah means to the Jewish people. Hanukkah is the Jewish Festival of Lights, and it remembers the rededication of the second Jewish temple in Jerusalem in 165BC (a particularly turbulent time in Jewish history) following its brutal destruction, where Jews have risen up against their Greek-Syrian oppressors in what’s known as the ‘Maccabean Revolt’. On each of the eight days of Hanukkah one candle is lit on the menorah, so on the final day all the candles are in place and lit for the ending of the festival. The most widely agreed reason for this tradition is that when Judah and his followers went into the destroyed temple to begin the rededication, there was only enough oil to burn for one night, but it miraculously lasted for eight.
So no, it’s not ‘basically a Jewish Christmas’ – it’s an empowering story of the Jewish people overcoming religious persecution.
Honourable mentions:
“Wait, so you do nothing on the 25th?!”
Nope. Shocker. I don’t even realise it’s the 25th half the time.
“Happy Hanukkah!” (Exclusively on December 25th)
I appreciate the sentiment – but I mean, come on! See response 3…
“Say something in Jewish!” and/or “Do you speak Jewish?”
This one is the worst. It’s nothing to do with the holidays but it belongs on this list purely because it’s that bad. Do you speak Christian? Enough said.
“Do you like the Chanukah Song by Adam Sandler?”
NO, absolutely unequivocally no.
Just kidding… it’s a banger. Give it a listen.
