Thirty years ago, my grandfather, the first person in my family to have acquired university level education, came to England to work for the Angolan Embassy. In doing so, he opened doors and created opportunities for my mother, and now myself, to have a high-quality education.
What does it mean to be proud?
To be proud is to love myself, my identity and who I am. I am fortunate enough to have such supportive people around me to tell me how beautiful my brown skin is, how versatile my natural afro hair is, how rich my culture is and remind me that I must be proud of these diverse aspects which make me unique.
Quite regularly, I can stand tall with pride, and I refuse to let society’s version of myself get the best of me. I do, however, acknowledge that many people will always view me negatively despite my achievements, simply because of the colour of my skin. No matter how elegantly I speak, if I attend one of the best schools, if I thrive in a particular field, none of it will matter to these people simply because I am black. Of course, not everyone views me in this way, and I am most grateful.
I often wonder, why are all good things considered white? Now that does seem like an odd question but think about it… In Christianity, Jesus is mostly depicted as a typical white man with blue eyes, and angels are portrayed as white. What happened to all the black angels? Why does everything bad have to be black? Whilst ‘white’ magic involves good in the world, black magic involves evil things and purposes. Often, white is associated with purity and innocence while black is associated with evil and death. In weddings the dress code is white however, in funerals black. Why is the plague called the Black Death? The ugly duckling was a black duck, and the black cat is bad luck. These ideologies and perceptions provide an insight into how the races are differently perceived in society.
Being a role-Model
When I visited different schools to complete my 11+ entrance exams, my dad would tell me before I left to “remove the pigmentation of your skin.” From what I could see, I was often one of very few or, in some cases, the only black girl applying for these private schools. I’d look around and wonder why no one else looked like me. This was when I first understood that I was part of ‘the minority.’ When I began getting acceptance letters, my mum would tell me that I had to represent who I was and be a role-model for all black girls. But I did not want to be one. I wasn’t used to an environment where I was one of only five black girls in the year. I was already different enough and just wanted to fit in. After seeing Tawana, the Transitions Representative, speak in an assembly about what she was doing for black girls in the school, I was amazed. Her words were powerful, and she was full of pride. I understood what my mum meant. She was a role model.
I often used to have to remind myself that I was no different to my white peers, after all we are the same on the inside. But why do I face discrimination and they don’t? Society has come a long way, but it is evident that there is still a lot of work to be done. Although, there is the occasional doubt and thought that I can’t personally make a change, I am only thirteen. But it’s the twenty-first century – anything can happen…
