When I talk to my white friends with non-ethnic names (the Charlottes, Lucys, and Amys of the world- I know at least 4 people with each of these names), I often realise that they’ve missed out on some of the joys and wonders of having ethnic names, that truly do enrich one’s life. So, to all non-ethnically named readers (or readers with ethnic names who would simply like to relate), here is a non-comprehensive guide to having an ethnic name:
- Mispronunciations. The mispronunciations come in many forms, but a personal favourite of mine are teachers who take the register for the very first time and stop right before your name to say, “Now if I mispronounce any names, please do correct me.” I do appreciate the forewarning, it’s very considerate, and it’s not their fault that they can’t pronounce my name. But there’s something quite funny about a teacher looking down at the register, looking up in a moment of fear, and prefacing their mispronunciation of your name. Even funnier when yours is followed in the register by an “Amy” or a “Georgia” because it becomes even more obvious whose name they couldn’t pronounce! Now one can most definitely correct a teacher if they mispronounce your name, but I’ve found this usually leads to a back and forth where you’re just shouting iterations of your name across the classroom as your classmates watch on like a tennis match. Instead, what I tend to do is let them pronounce it however is easiest for them. I think I’m too tired to question it at this point.
- Misspellings. This is quite similar to mispronunciations, but my name is literally four letters and the fact that this has happened to me on multiple occasions makes me feel it deserves its own category. What seems funny is that many ethnic names (not all of course, I don’t think I’d even argue most, but many) are pronounced phonetically, and some spellings I’ve seen of names have been atrocious. You know that feeling when you go to Starbucks and they spell the simplest names atrociously (I’ve seen “Emu” for Amy which was a personal favourite), that’s how we feel every day.
- “Random” airport security checks. I’m sure that every person of colour (but particularly those with ethnic names) has gone through a seemingly random security check at least once in their life. I’ve even managed to recognise exactly when they decide to flag me for one. There’s a quick shuffling about of the passport and boarding pass, then a long considering look as if wondering if you, a teenage girl, is capable of threatening their security. Then, circling the boarding pass with what might seem like some random symbols, but is actually a top-secret code known to very few, and finally your passport and boarding pass handed back with a successful smile. You have been flagged for a random check. At this point, my party trick might as well be zipping up a suitcase while jogging through an airport with one shoe half off.
- Your friends getting mad on your behalf. This is one of my favourite things. because it is just so sweet. As I said before, I don’t really care about any of these things just because of how much they happen to me, but one guaranteed thing is that your friends will always get upset about it, and it is so lovely. Your own resignation is replaced by that of your friends, and it gives me so much hope for the world. So, to all my friends with the most basic of names, know that I appreciate you all very much!
Despite all of this, I do love my name and after years of loathing it and wishing I had a “normal name”, I would now not trade it for anything (not even “Kitty” which I fully convinced myself was my middle name for at least four whole years). One day I hope these things will no longer happen, but if they have to, I’m glad I can find the humour in them and I hope you can too.
