(This is purely based on stereotypes, not on anyone I actually know, and not my own genuine opinion. )
Durham: I’m so sorry you didn’t get into Oxford.
Exeter: So, did you take your gap yah in Australia or Thailand?
Kings: I’m so sorry you didn’t get into UCL.
Lancaster: Is your home life really that bad?
Bath: I know your calling to playing lacrosse is strong.
Goldsmith: We get it, you’re edgy.
Manchester: You wear expensive ‘vintage’ outfits and don’t care if it gets ruined at the many parties you will be attending because your allowance will be there for you.
Birmingham: If someone has more drink bottles on their windowsill than you do, don’t feel threatened, it’s okay.
Leeds: [As above]
Bristol: : You couldn’t bear leaving private school, could you?
Edinburgh: You read English classics on the train to impress… absolutely no one.
St Andrews: You say you prefer wine over beer and everyone around you smiles and rolls their eyes.
Imperial: I’m so sorry you didn’t get into Cambridge.
Aberdeen: Edgar Allen Poe’s poetry has more joy and liveliness than this place. Good luck mate.
LSE: You say you’re going there only to focus on your studies and… that’s exactly what’s going to happen. Have fun?
Liverpool: You do medicine and you do consider yourself superior because of it.
Oxford: Have fun studying History of Art or something.
Cambridge: You will spend freshers’ week inside with your flatmates discussing architecture and correcting each other’s grammar – that is, if you gather the courage to start a conversation.
