The alarm beeps. You check the date. It’s International Women’s Day.
But wait! You’ve realised your fatal mistake – you’ve forgotten to buy pads for #madforpadz (or maybe you’ve been stockpiling for weeks, waiting for your time to shine).
Well, feel free to peruse the list below, and find out who you really are…
The Guilty Shuffler.
Typified by someone, perhaps in Year 7, who has never been to a Mad4Padz before. The Guilty Shuffler enters the hall, eyes locked on target, cheeks flushed, never daring to look up – either to the surrounding teachers, or those breezing in with three packs in hand. They are here to donate and leave and do this so quickly that you blink and they’re gone.
The Veteran.
On the other end of the scale, we have the battle-hardened feminist, trained by many years of International Women’s Days. They stroll into the hall, head up high, arms laden with sanitary products, wearing IWD colours to match. They’re the kind of person who carries their pad openly to the bathroom, and an absolute icon.
The Photo-fiend.
The Photo-fiend is here and proud, camera in hand, ready to snap the perfect picture of all the pads flying majestically into the air. Their donation is perhaps secondary to that perfect moment where thousands of Always packets, in all colours, fly up to the very top of the Senior Hall. They will be there all break, posing, and being effortlessly photogenic in every photo.
The “Sourced from Sainsbury’s”.
A heart of gold, but maybe not the organisational skills to back it up. They’re the reason the Sainsbury’s stock records inexplicably plummet every 8th of March (but Ms Kennedy loves them, because it means she can make the same joke every year’s assembly).
The Desperate Organiser.
It’s a difficult task, managing the hands thrusting packets of pads from all angles, yet the Desperate Organiser tries to execute their challenge regardless, scrambling to fit the sanitary mountain into one of three cardboard boxes, wondering how on earth they will fit it all in. A combination of well-meaning panic and a deep-rooted desire for organisation will see them all the way through to the end of break, even if they are sweating and exhausted by its end.
The One who Forgets.
Having filled their school bag optimistically that morning, the One who Forgets allows period 3 to roll around, only for a pack of forgotten pads to fall out. They realise with a crushing blow of self-doubt that they have not only forgotten the Best Event of The YearTM, but they will now have to carry the reminder of their failure with them for the rest of the day, or sidle up awkwardly between period 3 and 4 and hope that someone will take it off their hands.
