10,000 acres of land on fire. Over 1000 firefighters at the scene. This may sound like the result of a natural catastrophe or a terrorist attack, but the disastrous El Dorado fire was actually caused by a gender reveal. A family in California used a pyrotechnic device to reveal their baby’s gender. It was supposed to release coloured smoke, but instead it destroyed six homes. Many will say that this instance is not representative of gender reveals as a whole. However, destruction like this has happened several times before.
Only three years ago, this time in Arizona, a rifle was shot at an explosive- filled target as part of another gender reveal. It ignited a fire that scorched nearly 47,000 acres of land and caused over eight million US dollars in damages. The offender was sentenced to five years’ probation and ordered to pay the full damages- a lifetime of debt for one stupid mistake. While the above two examples are extreme compared to most gender reveals, several others have also caused ruin. One even led to the Grandma-to-be’s death, as the supposed powder canon detonated like a pipe bomb and she was fatally struck by debris. Scores of animal abuse have also occurred for these events, with many pets being dyed blue or pink with unsafe paint. One man even stuck a watermelon filled with coloured jelly into an alligator’s mouth. Even when not causing physical harm, these reveals still damage – only this time it hurts the child.
Gender reveal parties have exploded onto the event scene over the last decade, fuelled by the rise of ‘mommy bloggers’, Pinterest, and Instagram. Many families strive to outdo each other with bigger and bigger reveals, ranging from a coloured cake to lighting up the tallest building in the world blue. In the age of picture-perfect families, many prospective parents feel increasing pressure to participate in lavish parties for their children or risk being judged as parents before their child is even born. However, while any excuse to throw a party is usually great, a gender reveal sends a disturbing message.
Gender- reveals stereotype kids before they are even born. Pink for girls, blue for boys. Tutus vs touchdowns. The hashtag #Letkidsbekids is trending after many expressed their dismay that different genders were so easily stuffed into these restrictive boxes. Did you know that until the 1930s, pink was seen as a boy’s colour? Designating certain colours and experiences for different genders makes no sense. It confines children to predetermined roles, taking away their individuality and adding unnecessary, and sometimes harmful, expectations. Not everyone fits into two categories, and increasingly sports and jobs are becoming less traditionally “feminine” and masculine”. Many of the most popular makeup youtubers are now men, and female sports teams are becoming increasingly popular compared to their male counterparts. The simple truth is that a boy may want to wear a dress and some girls hate pink. Expectations only lead to disappointment. Someone’s sex does not stop them from doing things – stereotypes do.
Even the blogger believed to have popularised gender reveals now regrets it. Publicly calling them out of hand, she has revealed she now disagrees with what they represent. Stating “who cares what gender the baby is?”, she went on to ask people to stop burning things down to show off their baby’s genitals. Recounting how gender expectations expressed through her later pregnancies have led her to be wary of stereotypes, she said the thing that drove it home was when her daughter cried after getting Legos for her birthday as she considered them a boys toy. Though gender reveals by themselves don’t cause this restrictive thinking, they do encourage it.
A gender reveal isn’t even a gender reveal – it’s a sex reveal! Consider for a moment how weird it sounds to say you are throwing a party to celebrate your kid’s genitals. It certainly makes me uncomfortable. While cutting into a pink cake or letting lose some balloons may not seem harmful as setting acres of land on fire, both still perpetuate outdated gender roles and gender itself. Parenting is all about loving the child you have, not the one you fancied.
