To all my Year 10s taking their first ‘proper’ exams, well done for getting through the first week! But the rest of Year 11-13 will be all too familiar with the summer exam season, so I’m hoping we can all find some comfort in knowing we actually aren’t all that different.
The PROcrastinator,
- Revision starts 24-48 hrs before the exam,
- You’ve been doing this for years,
- Your procrastination has probably led you to look up the etymology of the word (hint: from the Latin verb procrastinare meaning to postpone / delay),
- There will be some tears but somehow, you’ll pull it out of the bag,
- Example: this (arguably exhaustive) list.
The last-minute.com one,
- Similar to the PROcrastinator but not quite the same,
- This is how they work, they live for deadlines and pressure,
- They will be telling you everything on the entire paper about 5 minutes before the exam,
- Do they know the content? Yeah… definitely… totally….
The notes royalty,
- If it’s not colour coded, they don’t want It,
- I’m thinking full notebooks full of painstakingly organised work,
- They probably have all the pastel Stabilo highlighters AND the Muji pens,
- They definitely got their Pen Licence early in primary school (I’m definitely not still bitter…),
- We ALL wanted to be them at some point,
- They probably also have a top-notch study playlist somewhere.
Similarly, the one who only makes mindmaps,
- Extra marks if you did it on pink A3 paper (we love romanticising revision),
- A step up from making notes, you want to give yourself a bit of a challenge,
- You’re probably an A Level humanities student trying to find a way to learn as little as possible and still cover everything,
- Their mindmaps are either utterly stunning or terrifyingly disorganised; there’s no in between.
And their best friend, the flashcard master,
- If it’s not on a flashcard it doesn’t exist
- I see you GCSE History students…
The “I’ve done all the past papers” one,
- We get it, you went back to the start of your specification and did every paper you could get your hands on,
- We also fear you,
- Where did you find the time to do so many?
- You’ve probably memorised the mark scheme by now,
- You’re either a notes person or a past paper person, I’ve never met one who is both,
- If you’re in Sixth Form you’re probably a STEM student? Though possibly MFL too…
And their Humanities counterpart: the chronic essay planner,
- They probably have a whiteboard (extra points if it’s a big one on their wall at home),
- Their mind is full of quotes but where are they getting them from?
- There is no question that could come up that they haven’t thought about,
- They have spent hours on these mindmaps, but at what cost?
To quote a fellow exam-reviser: the one who’s only thoughts are “AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH”,
- It’s all chaos: which exam is next? We don’t know and neither do they,
- They probably have notes on the topic… somewhere?
- Definitely asking last minute questions outside the exam hall,
- A few deep breaths might be a useful resource.
The one who forgets…
- “wait… that exam isn’t until next week… right?!”
The eerily calm one,
- Where is the stress? Are they from Mars? Both questions we’ll never know the answer to.
- They’ve mastered the art of “Keep Calm and Carry On”,
- They’re probably organised enough that they learned it all months ago and have been doing active recall for weeks,
- They probably also know how to use a semi-colon correctly (please enlighten me),
- I envy you xx
The one who has given up,
- It’s probably the end of your exam season and the energy is running low,
- You figure, what’s one failed exam going to matter? It won’t really change your grade…
- You will then inevitably become the PROcrastinator in the last 24 hours when you realise your mistake,
- It’s okay, we’ve all been there too,
And finally, the one who thinks they are above revision,
- Not to be confused with the one who has given up, there is a fine line,
- To quote a dear friend: “revision is doubting your ability to succeed”,
- They’re risking it all for those few extra hours of relaxation,
- They probably are the ones who says “most of it is common sense anyway” a few too many times,
- “the biology happens inside our body, so my subconscious knows all of it anyway”
- It either really works for them or really doesn’t,
- And the less extreme version: watching Netflix in the background because they’re totally above being distracted by the latest gossip in Bridgerton,
And with that my dears, my own PROcrastination ends. Best of luck to all the Year 11s and 13s over the next couple of months!
