(It’s not top 5- I’m being quirky)
Greek mythology is full of fascinating stories of heroes’ daring exploits and the complex (usually childish) whims of the gods. There’s a whole range of plots ranging from (quite literally) petrifying gorgons and men who get turned into daffodils, but today I thought I’d share some of the whackier ones with you…
Disclaimer: I condone literally none of the follow behaviour.
The Milky Way
The story goes that Zeus, the father of the hero Heracles (or Hercules for you Romans out there), wanted his baby to have godlike qualities. So, he decided to let him suckle on his wife Hera’s milk (important to note that she wasn’t Heracles’ mother, so weird move there). When Hera woke up and realised what was happening, she tore Heracles off her, and the spurting milk spattered across the night sky, creating the Milky Way. Makes astronomy way more interesting, right?
Fun etymology fact- the word galaxy comes from the Greek work γαλα (gala) which means milk
Athena’s Birth
Imagine – you’re Zeus, king of the gods, lounging on Olympus, when suddenly, you get a terrible headache. Since they didn’t have paracetamol back then, you just have to grit your teeth and bear it. The headache keeps getting worse, and worse, until one day, your head splits open, literally, and out comes a fully grown goddess- Athena. Happens to the best of us.
The Minotaur’s Creation
Minos was the king of Crete, one of Greece’s many islands. One day, he asked Poseidon, the god of the sea, to send him a snow-white bull as a sign of his favour. He got the bull, and planned to sacrifice it to Poseidon in thanks, but ended up sacrificing a substitute, because the white one was too pretty. Since Poseidon’s a god, he’s pretty easily offended, and he decided to punish Minos by making his wife fall in love with the bull (one day the men in Greek mythology will face the consequences of their own actions, but that day is not today). Pasiphae was so in love with the bull, that she asked Daedalus, the best craftsman in the world, to build a wooden cow she could climb into and be near the bull. Now, Daedalus was such a good craftsman that the cow was a little too lifelike, and it ended up with Pasiphae getting pregnant with the bull’s child. When he was born, she named the half-bull half-man Asterion, who would later be known as the Minotaur.
Aphrodite’s Birth
Kronos was the ruler of the Titans – the guys that came before the gods – and the son of Uranus (nice to know your sense of humour is as sophisticated as mine, dear reader). To try and get rid of his father, Kronos cut off his private parts with a sickle, and cast them into the sea. These produced a foam, from which the goddess Aphrodite was born. Sadly, something Botticelli didn’t include in his ‘Birth of Venus’.
Fun etymology fact 2 (I’m just full of these today, aren’t I?) – Aphrodite’s name probably came from the word Greek word for foam, ἀφρος (aphros).
Zeus’ weirdest ways of getting people pregnant
Zeus had many children- and most of them with mortal women. He had quite a reputation, so he had to get pretty… creative with his seduction tactics- with his disguises including but not limited to:
- A goose (resulting child born from an egg)
- An ant
- A dragon
- A cuckoo
- A ray of golden sun.
The Centaurs
After committing a rather lengthy list of crimes (mostly murder), Ixion, king of Lapiths, became an outcast, but Zeus took pity on him, perhaps being empathetic to a fellow Bad Person who should have never been given power, and invited him to Olympus for dinner. Instead of being thankful, as one really should be towards the gods, he fell in love with Hera, and wished to sleep with her, which will obviously go down very well with Zeus (see: his brother Poseidon’s previous reaction to not getting his way). Unsurprisingly, Zeus got angry and sent a cloud in the shape of Hera, named Nephele, to Ixion, and tricked him into sleeping with it. From Nephele, Centauros was born, who later mated with the mares on Mount Pelion, creating the race of Centaurs, who were half-men half-horse. Ixion was chained to a spinning fiery wheel and travelled around the sky for a while before he was transferred to hell for eternity.
