In honour of passing the internal early application deadline, here’s the ultimate guide for how to write a perfect personal statement, (very) loosely based on personal experience. So grab a cuppa, sit back and enjoy the show.
DISCLAIMER: This is a work of fiction. Any and all events recounted here have been dramatized for your entertainment. (Don’t come after me.)
Step 1: The list.
The first step of writing your personal statement, or so we’re told, is listing everything and anything that you could include.
Maybe this is useful for some people, but when I sat down at my computer one summer day, staring at a blank screen, I realised that I had done next to nothing. Even worse, the (very short) selection of things I had done gave me absolutely nothing to write about. I quickly gave up to go and do my Chemistry homework (read: do anything but doing Chemistry homework, including cleaning my room).
Step 2: First draft.
The first draft does not need to be perfect. It will almost definitely be completely rewritten. Don’t get attached.
I took this advice to heart and wrote it in close to 20 minutes. Whilst watching TV. And trying to decide what to make for dinner. Needless to say, it was awful.
Step 3: Draft 1.2
(I don’t want this step to be the Second Draft, because in my mind that’s after you’ve had feedback, hence Draft 1.2)
There is no official procedure for this one, but the main idea is a panic the night before the first draft deadline. You end up changing your half-written introduction completely, questioning every word you wrote and once again, eventually give up in order to watch the newest episode of Only Murders in the Building, hoping that Mrs Cooper isn’t too harsh on you.
Step 4: Second draft.
Act on feedback given from your teacher.
So thankful for Mrs Cooper. If you’re reading this: thank you.
Not much more to it but let’s just say its barely recognisable from my first draft. Much happier at this point but still some way to go. Deadline in a week.
Step 5: Drafts three to fifty-seven.
Act on more feedback. Check grammar and spelling. Change every word at least once. Try and get below the character limit. Go too far and try and get your character count back up to a respectable number. Acknowledge that this has taken over your every waking moment.
Step 6: Acceptance.
Realise the night before the deadline that perfection just isn’t reachable. Your university course doesn’t even look too closely at said personal statement. Go back to Draft 4 (the one before you broke out the thesaurus). Accept that this is it. Get ready to hit pay and send.
Step 7: Submit your application.
Relax. It’s over. Take five minutes to unwind from the stress that has been this week before starting the pile of work you’ve been neglecting.
And there you have it. A guide to how to write a personal statement. Again, this is all a work of fiction. Hopefully you laughed. If you are yet to get started, don’t stress. It’s not actually that bad…
