You haven’t done your homework, you…
a. Proclaim the injustice of the education system.
b. Write a lengthy apology letter to your teacher. In perfect cursive.
c. You always have your homework, so it must have been an emergency. You’re probably too ill to be in school anyway.
d. Hide in your room and cry.
The printer in Room N isn’t working, you…
a. Write out the entire document by hand. It’ll give you time for a zesty internal monologue.
b. Begin conversing with it in Ancient Greek. It just needs a bit of encouragement.
c. Go for a walk and try again later.
d. Give up.
Your favourite thing to do with friends is…
a. You don’t actually have any friends…
b. Go to the theatre, or an art gallery.
c. Have a nice night in – slumber party!
d. Go to a big party. It makes the pain easier.
Two of your friends are in a spat over a guy, you…
a. Hide behind a curtain and record your observations. Perhaps throw in some pathetic fallacy.
b. Send a letter to each of them, encouraging them to make up with one another.
c. Write a detailed account of their interactions, it’ll be good material for your next novel.
d. Seduce the guy. Lol.
A guy on the street wolf whistles at you, you…
a. Check your ego. You cannot lose sight of what you truly are: poor and plain.
b. Get a flashback to that one time in your childhood when this boy laughed at you and then you cried and your mother, she said it was ok and gave you warm milk and you remember the flowers on the sill; beautiful daffodils; the clouds streaming off behind them like great birds…
c. Don’t actually go outside so that wouldn’t happen.
d. Go home and throw all your clothes off the roof in an act of feminist rebellion.
At the movies, you’d prefer to see…
a. A historical drama, or maybe a biography.
b. An indie masterpiece.
c. A romance movie.
d. A psycho thriller.
When dressing up to a party, you always choose…
a. Something modest. No one needs to see your knickers.
b. Loose, delicate dresses.
c. Something fun and girly.
d. Asymmetrical hemlines and blue eye shadow. Let’s get funky.
If you chose mostly:
A: Charlotte Bronte
Your modest and self-abasing nature gives you a particular charm which is cherished by all your friends. Or it would be, if you had any.
B: Virginia Woolf
You might be a bit of a dark horse, but that only enhances your artistic vibe. You’re known for your philosophical outlook and keen intellect. But rest assured – everyone is jealous of your vintage fashion. Don’t worry about the hallucinations. No one suspects you’re going mad.
C: Jane Austen
You’re the ‘Well Adjusted One’ in your squad. Always ready and willing to support your friends, yet also finding time for yourself. Your reasonable outlook and fun-loving nature (as well as your subtle wit) makes it difficult for anyone to have a bad word to say about you.
D: Sylvia Plath
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